UK Prime Minister to Solve Teen Social Media Problems by Replacing Phones with Smoke Signals
UK Prime Minister to Solve Teen Social Media Problems by Replacing Phones with Smoke Signals
Politics
The ongoing competition between people who want power and people who want to keep power.
PM Vows to Lead Country through Budget Cuts by Increasing Budget for Fancy Military Parades
PM Vows to Lead Country through Budget Cuts by Increasing Budget for Fancy Military Parades
Labour Party to Solve Defence Spending Dilemma by Holding a Series of Well-Meaning But Completely Useless Tea Parties
Labour Party to Solve Defence Spending Dilemma by Holding a Series of Well-Meaning But Completely Useless Tea Parties
UK Ministers Resign Over Defense Funding, Cite 'Strained Sandwich Budget' as Primary Concern
UK Ministers Resign Over Defense Funding, Cite 'Strained Sandwich Budget' as Primary Concern
Nation Mourns as Government Doubles Down on Mini-Mart Closure Crackdown
Nation in Mourning as Government Orders Tragic Closure of Illegal Mini-Marts for Entire Year — Local Residents Plan Month of Grief and Sad Face Emoji Vigils
Government Announces New Initiative to Strengthen Surveillance After Hidden Camera Discovered in Their Own Offices
Government Announces New Initiative to Strengthen Surveillance After Hidden Camera Discovered in Their Own Offices
Unions Politely Decline Farage's 'Open Door' Invite, Citing 'Door Not Actually Open' Policy
Unions Politely Decline Farage’s ‘Open Door’ Invite, Citing 'Door Not Actually Open' Policy
Defence Secretary Promises 'Pro-Britain' Approach as British Firms Prepare for Battle with IKEA Assembly Instructions
Defence Secretary Promises 'Pro-Britain' Approach as British Firms Prepare for Battle with IKEA Assembly Instructions
Attorney General Declares Concern Over Small Boats As Only Real Disgrace Is Politicians Who Don't Know How to Swim
Attorney General Declares Concern Over Small Boats As Only Real Disgrace Is Politicians Who Don’t Know How to Swim
Local MP Announces New 'Rugged Resilience' Curriculum as Pupils Navigate Army Firing Range to School
Local MP Announces New 'Rugged Resilience' Curriculum as Pupils Navigate Army Firing Range to School
Downing Street Blames 'Division-Stirrers' for Everything Except Actual Policy
Downing Street Unveils New 'Stir Division' Awareness Campaign, Encourages Citizens to Report Suspiciously Arguments
Reform Candidate Declares Losing Election a 'Win-Win,' Cites Gesture as Achievement
Local Reform Candidate Confident That Being a Political Loser is a 'Win-Win' for Society, Claims to Have Disrupted the Status Quo by Not Winning
Badenoch Warns Civil War Looms Over Identity Politics, Suggests Citizens Prepare by Stockpiling Scones and Tea
Badenoch Warns Civil War Looms Over Identity Politics, Suggests Citizens Prepare by Stockpiling Scones and Tea
Reform Party Announces New Fundraising Strategy: 'Trust Us, Your Crypto Wallet Has Voted!'
Reform Party Announces New Fundraising Strategy: 'Trust Us, Your Crypto Wallet Has Voted!'
The Starmer Doctrine: When Blaming Elon Is Easier Than Fixing Parliament
Starmer Claims Musk's Tweets Are Actually More Dangerous Than the Murder Itself
Starmer's Disappearing Messages: When Accountability Gets a Self-Destruct Button
Starmer's New Transparency Strategy: Disappearing Messages Introduced to Cut Down on Political Accountability
Streeting's Northern Ireland Oil Pivot: The Apology Tour Meets Energy Policy
Streeting Reveals Bold New Strategy: Solving Northern Ireland's Problems by Drilling for Oil in the North Sea While Apologizing for Previous Health Policies
Donaldson's 'Nothing to Do With Allegations' Defense Somehow Involves Letters to Alleged Victims
Sir Jeffrey Donaldson Claims 'Innocence' While Trial Defense Includes 'Just Kidding' Letters to Alleged Victims
Farage Demands Police Probe Phone Hack While Pushing 'No Privacy' Tech Policy
In Shocking Turn of Events, Farage Asks Police to Investigate Hacked Phone While Simultaneously Campaigning for a 'No Privacy' Policy
Local Council Achieves Unanimous Agreement to Not Agree on Anything
Local Council Achieves Unanimous Agreement to Not Agree on Anything, Celebrates 2nd Election Failure with Pizza Party
Pharmacies to Prescribe Astrological Remedies Alongside Antibiotics as UK Patients Demand Cosmic Cures
Pharmacies to Prescribe Astrological Remedies Alongside Antibiotics as UK Patients Demand Cosmic Cures
Home Office Deploys AI to Guess Asylum Seekers' Age, Replacing Proven Methods Like Guessing
Home Office Announces AI Tool to Determine Asylum Seekers' Age, Replacing Traditional Methods Like Guessing and Playing 'Guess Who?'
Council Pays £470k for Breaching Own Clean Air Zone as 'A Step Towards Innovation'
Council Celebrates Achievement of Paying £470k for Breaching Own Clean Air Zone as ‘A Step Towards Innovation’
Makerfield Declared New Capital of Britain as Political Parties Prepare for 24-Hour Dance-Off to Win By-Election
'Makerfield Declared New Capital of Britain as Political Parties Prepare for 24-Hour Dance-Off to Win By-Election'
Burnham and Streeting Debate Inequality from $2M Houses: A Lesson in Modern Altruism
Burnham and Streeting Debate Inequality from the Comfort of Their $2 Million Houses: A Lesson in Modern Altruism
Keir Starmer Calls Judges Cowards After Realizing It's Easier to Tweet Than Change the Law
Keir Starmer Calls Judges Cowards After Realizing It's Easier to Tweet Than Change the Law
Scottish Parliament Declares Independence from Independence to Focus on Independence
Scottish Parliament Declares Independence from Independence to Focus on Independence
UK Government Declares Bank Holiday as 'Homecoming' for 1,000 Migrants Who Clearly Read the Welcome Sign
UK Government Declares Bank Holiday as 'Homecoming' for 1,000 Migrants Who Clearly Read the Welcome Sign
Reform UK's Tax-Free Overtime Plan: Rewarding Exhaustion by Starving the Desperate
Reform UK Proposes 'Tax-Free Overtime' Funded by 'Free-For-All Welfare Cuts' For Those Tired of Working Extra Hours to Feed Their Families
Cafe Owner's Disappointment Found to Hold More Political Weight than Entire Parliament, Experts Say
Cafe Owner’s Disappointment Found to Hold More Political Weight than Entire Parliament, Experts Say
Green MP Carla Denyer Takes Leave to Recover From Exhausting Work of Pretending to Care
Green MP Carla Denyer Takes Leave of Absence to Recover From Exhausting Work of Pretending to Care
Farage Claims He Was Unaware of Court Judgement, Shocking Legal Experts
Farage Claims He Was Unaware of Court Judgement, Shocking Legal Experts Who Thought He Was Always Aware of Everything
In Heartfelt Tribute, Gavin Williamson Declares Pet Tarantula 'Best Mate' Rivalling MPs in Loyalty
In Heartfelt Tribute, Gavin Williamson Declares Pet Tarantula 'Best Mate' Rivalling MPs in Loyalty
Makerfield By-Election Turns Into Reality TV Show as Plumber and Former Mayor Face Off
Makerfield By-Election Turns Into Reality TV Show as Plumber and Former Mayor Face Off in Political Talent Show
Richmond-upon-Thames Declares Democracy Defunct, Elects Liberal Democrats to 100% Majority
Richmond-upon-Thames Declares Democracy Defunct, Elects Liberal Democrats to 100% Majority in Historic Non-Election
Makerfield Residents Rally for Giant Inflatable Candidate: 'At Least It Won't Puncture Our Dreams'
Makerfield Residents Rally for Giant Inflatable Candidate: ‘At Least It Won’t Puncture Our Dreams’
Burnham Promises Stability by Nuking Labour from Orbit
In Unprecedented Move, Andy Burnham Promises to Stabilize Parliament by Installing a Bouncy Castle at Makerfield By-election Headquarters
Josh Simons Stands Down for Burnham, Hopes to Become Labour's Most Inspirational Tragic Hero
Josh Simons Stands Down for Burnham, Hopes to Become Labour's Most Inspirational Tragic Hero
Farage Claims £5M Gift for Brexit Work Not a Bribe, Just Integrity in Action
Farage Claims £5 Million Gift for Brexit Campaigning Not a Bribe, Just a Generous Donation from His Monopoly Money Fund
Labour Leadership Crisis Escalates as Streeting Vows to Outperform Starmer in 'Who Will Lead Us Now?' Challenge
Labour Leadership Crisis Escalates to New Heights as Wes Streeting Vows to Outperform Starmer in Upcoming 'Who Will Lead Us Now?' Challenge
Rhun ap Iorwerth Elected First Minister After Plaid Cymru's Bold Platform: Replace All Politicians with Singing Daffodil
Rhun ap Iorwerth Elected First Minister of Wales After Campaign Promising to Replace All Politicians with Singing Daffodils
Ap Iorwerth Delivers Groundbreaking Speech to Empty Audience, Claims 'Silent Majority' Supports His Groundbreaking Ideas
Ap Iorwerth Delivers Groundbreaking Speech to Empty Audience, Claims 'Silent Majority' Supports His Groundbreaking Ideas
Reform UK Councillor Insists 'I Am Not an AI', Raising Questions About What Constitutes Humanity
Reform UK Councillor Declares, 'I Am Not an AI', Prompting Widespread Concern About What Constitutes Humanity
Reform UK's Councillors Learn International Relations After Skipping Racism 101
Reform UK's Councillors Learn International Relations After Skipping Racism 101: Crisis Management Edition
Labour MP Demands PM Resign While Quietly Booking Spa Weekend Instead
Labour MP Demands PM Resignation While Secretly Signing Up for 'Leadership Challenge: The Stay-At-Home Edition'
Labour Party Leadership Challenges Explained: A New Reality Show Where Nobody Gets Voted Off
Labour Party Leadership Challenges Explained: A New Reality Show Where Nobody Gets Voted Off.
Rayner Warns Starmer To 'Shape Up' While Backing Burnham For A Job He Already Lost
Rayner Warns Starmer To 'Shape Up' While Backing Burnham For A Job He Already Lost, Insists Promises Will Definitely Be Kept This Time
Wales and Scotland Form New Coalition to Complicate Things Even Further
Wales and Scotland Form New Coalition to Complicate Things Even Further; Nation's Confusion Reaches Historic Highs
Starmer Vows to Stay Aboard Sinking Labour Ship, Ironic Lifeboats Provided by Reform Party
Starmer Vows to Stay Aboard Sinking Labour Ship, Ironic Lifeboats Provided by Reform Party
Reform Party's Detention Centers Are 'Green' If You Squint Hard Enough
Reform Party Announces Plans for Migrant Detention Centres in Green Voting Areas, Claims It's the 'Greenest' Way to 'Contain Migration'
Starmer Hires Consultant to Validate Leadership, Accidentally Orders Crumble Recipe
Starmer Turns to Consultant for Credibility, Accidentally Requests Recommendations for Crumble Recipe Instead
UK Ambassador to US Accidentally Announces Israel as 'The Friend We All Secretly Dislike' in Awkward State Visit Gaffe
UK Ambassador to US Accidentally Announces Israel as 'The Friend We All Secretly Dislike' in Awkward State Visit Gaffe
Greens Pledge £15 Minimum Wage, Payment Structure Still Being Workshopped
Greens Introduce £15 Minimum Wage for All Workers, Payment to Be Made in Assorted Kale and Biodegradable Quinoa
Government Introduces 'Protest Safety Helmets' to Aid Public Safety While Protests Continue to Be Entirely Unsafe
Government Introduces 'Protest Safety Helmets' to Aid Public Safety While Protests Continue to Be Entirely Unsafe
PM: Some Protests May Need Stopping, Especially the Ones I Disagree With
Protests may need to be stopped in some cases, PM suggests
Two Green Party candidates arrested over alleged antisemitic online posts
Two Green Party candidates arrested over alleged antisemitic online posts
Trump Demands Scottish Reparations in Haggis After Golf Course Diplomatic Incident
Zack Polanski Demands Trump Be Banned from Scottish Golf Courses; Trump Asks for Compensation in Haggis and Bagpipes
Greens Unveil Groundbreaking Plan to Unleash Hidden Treasure of England: Empty Shops Become Hotcakes with Mandatory Fire
Greens Unveil Groundbreaking Plan to Unleash Hidden Treasure of England: Empty Shops Become Hotcakes with Mandatory Fire Sale
Voting: The National Participation Trophy Where Everyone Loses
UK Citizens Urged to Check Registration Status, Politicians Remind Them Their Votes Only Count if They Don't Vote at All