Lara Bird took the oath as the new MP for Arbroath & Broughty Ferry this week with her fingers visibly crossed. Not metaphorically. Actually crossed. During the swearing-in. On camera.
This is the parliamentary equivalent of signing a contract while making that exaggerated wincing face that means you’re definitely not bound by any of it. Bird’s constituents now have a sitting MP who has technically promised to serve them while simultaneously performing the international gesture for “this doesn’t count.” The Commons has seen many things, but rarely has someone been this honest about their intentions before the ink dried.
The SNP has a history of oath-related theatre—several MPs have refused to swear allegiance to the monarchy, which is at least a coherent political position. Bird’s approach is different. She swore the oath. She said the words. She just made sure the universe understood she was doing it under protest via finger semaphore.
What makes this remarkable is that nobody stopped her. The Speaker didn’t pause mid-ceremony to ask if she needed a hand stretcher. No one suggested that crossed fingers might void the entire contract between an MP and her 70,000 constituents. The oath was accepted. The precedent is set. Future politicians now know they can promise anything—literally anything—as long as their hands are in the right position.
Bird’s constituents should probably check their contracts. If they signed anything with her while she was in the room, it’s worth revisiting.