France are the overwhelming World Cup favourites, which means the BBC Sport team in America has done what all respectable journalists do: they have found the fatal weaknesses that will surely bring down the defending champions. Spoiler alert: the problems are catastrophic. We are talking about a team that might need to hold hands during meditation or perhaps invest in a group espresso machine.
The real issue, apparently, is cohesion. The French superstars—Mbappé, Benzema, Griezmann—are so individually brilliant that they occasionally forget to acknowledge each other’s existence on the pitch. It is as though they are playing five separate games and occasionally the ball bounces between them. A weekend retreat where they sit in a circle and discuss their feelings could solve this entirely. Maybe some trust falls. Definitely some trust falls.
Then there is the matter of defensive concentration. France’s backline has been known to switch off for approximately forty seconds per match, which is obviously unforgivable when you are the best team in the world. Any team that plays with actual focus for the entire ninety minutes will exploit this ruthlessly. So will any team that doesn’t. So will any team, really.
The BBC’s conclusion is that France are beatable because they are human. Revolutionary stuff. They tire. They make mistakes. They occasionally kick the ball backwards when they meant to kick it forwards. If another team plays perfectly and France play badly, France might lose. The horror. The absolute scandal of it all. Perhaps what France really needs is not tactical adjustment but a stronger morning beverage and a group hug. Then they will be truly unstoppable.