Miliband says a formal apology will cost taxpayers nothing. The logic is that words are free, and the government has decided to keep them that way by refusing to spend money on anything else.
Britain cannot sweep its past under the carpet, he told BBC Newscast. Officials have since confirmed the carpet is being listed on eBay, with free returns and a heritage tag.
The Treasury has not commented, mainly because it is still working out whether nostalgia can appear on a balance sheet. Early modelling suggests it can, provided nobody asks what the nostalgia is made of.
Is this a revenue stream? Technically, yes, because VAT applies to anything sold. Technically.
The first listing is a commemorative mug reading “We Said Sorry”. It has forty-one watchers, a reserve price nobody will meet, and a seller rating that the Cabinet Office has already asked to keep private.