Uber announced today that it will eliminate over 3,000 positions globally as part of a major restructuring aimed at making operations ‘simpler and faster.’ The company framed the layoffs as an opportunity for affected employees to pursue their true passions—specifically, becoming happiness consultants, life coaches, or influencers, depending on their TikTok follower count.
Internal memos describe the cuts as a ‘liberation initiative’ that removes the burden of steady employment from workers who have long dreamed of monetizing their wellness journey on Instagram. One unnamed executive noted that ‘simplification sometimes means simplifying people out of the org chart,’ adding that the company’s commitment to employee growth remains unwavering.
The timing is fortuitous. With the gig economy booming and the self-help market valued at $11 billion annually, Uber’s newly unemployed workforce is perfectly positioned to join the ranks of certified life coaches—a credential one can obtain in six weeks for $499. The company even suggested that severance packages could be redirected toward certification programs, though the math on that remains intentionally vague.
Uber did not clarify how this restructuring benefits the 70 million users who rely on its services, nor did it explain whether ‘simpler and faster’ means fewer drivers, slower pickups, or both. But that question seems almost quaint when there is personal fulfillment to be had.