Samsung just posted a record profit of $80bn, which is about the size of Luxembourg’s entire economy. Most of it came from AI chips, the small components that power the data centres running the current wave of AI tools. Its folding phones, launched in August, are along for the ride. If you are reading that and wondering what to do with your savings, I have a suggestion that is only slightly unhinged: life-sized folding furniture.
Here is the logic, as presented by people who have never been asked to explain it. A chip is a hard little object that a huge number of companies suddenly need, so its price climbs. A folding sofa is also a hinged object, and it also gets bought by people who have run out of room. Therefore, the reasoning goes, folding sofas are the new Bitcoin. (Bitcoin is a digital currency with no physical object behind it, which is why this comparison should make you slightly nervous.)
Let me be clear about what the news actually says. Samsung sold a lot of chips and a lot of phones. Nothing in that report mentions sofas, ottomans, or wardrobe beds, and nothing suggests a fold-out dining table will double by Christmas.
So what does this mean for you? Probably nothing you need to act on this week. If you need a folding bed for the spare room, buy it because you need a bed. If you are considering moving your emergency fund into a warehouse of furniture-shaped assets because a phone company had a good quarter, please don’t. Keep your savings somewhere you can see them, and treat any headline that starts with “the future of” as a reason to slow down.