The crypto industry has long held that every problem is a branding opportunity, and this week it finally proved it. Cyber correspondent Joe Tidy has explained what is suspected to be the biggest hack in history: $6.3bn gone from Binance, one of the largest crypto exchanges, with investigators still working out how it happened and who was responsible. Nobody has pinned it on anyone yet, and nothing in this piece should be read as a claim otherwise.
What happened next is the part worth laughing at. Within hours, a glossy press release landed promising a luxury, cryptocurrency-themed resort in the Maldives, complete with a ‘trustless’ infinity pool and a rooftop bar that accepts only tokens. Asked whether the timing was a coincidence, a spokesperson described the resort as ‘a long-planned community initiative’ and said the company was ‘committed to turning moments of adversity into opportunities for our users.’ The users, many of whom are still waiting to see their money, were invited to pre-book suites.
This is satire, and the joke is the reflex, not any hidden plot. An industry that sells the idea that digital money needs no trust asks its customers to trust the next shiny announcement. When the vault is empty, the answer is apparently a beach. The investigation will decide what actually happened. The pool, we are told, will open in spring.