Monty Don signed off from Longmeadow on Friday after two decades of Gardeners’ World. The farewell was broadcast, dignified, and seen by a fraction of the people who watched a man in a bucket hat pressure-wash a patio.
The gardening genre has not died. It has been cut into forty-second clips with trending audio and a sponsored trowel. The soil is now a backdrop. The compost heap is a lifestyle brand.
Somewhere a thirty-one-year-old with 800,000 followers has launched a “slow garden” philosophy, filmed on a balcony the size of a shoebox. He sells seed packets with his face on them. He has never grown a tomato to maturity, but he has grown a following.
Why does a nation that cannot keep a basil plant alive watch strangers discuss dahlias for hours? Because a slow hobby is the perfect product for a fast feed. Nobody needs to know how to garden to feel calm about it.
The BBC will keep the series going. The influencers will keep going too, mostly on ring lights.
The sponsored trowel is currently available in three colours, with a discount code in the caption.